Christmas Past

Its crazy to think that one Christmas ago Matt was just little teeny tiny baby. He was only a few months old and me being a new mom was just finally getting into the groove of things. He is such a blessing and i thank god numerous times in a day for the gift i was given. He is so precious...will always be my precious little man. Looking back he was so small...well kinda. He wasn't a baby baby but he was still much smaller than he is this Christmas. This year we get to take him out in the snow, pull him behind us in a sled, make angels in the snow...i mean look back at him...so cute...so cuddly...just so precious.Still goofy as all can be but hes my little precious baby boy.

To think that he was once soooo cuddly and would just love and cuddle on me all day...now i get a hug but its mostly just Matt being a goof and backing up to you and sitting on what is available...until bedtime then he'll cuddle.

ENT

So we went to Matts Dr. appt in Spokane to see the nutritionist again. Nothing new but he has gained an ounce...but that was AFTER he ate so no idea how much he weighed before. They gave us the SAME feeding recommendations but we really have to knuckle down and stick to them. Stick to them like glue. But as far as what is going on with him they think that its all in his sinus cavities. So now on to a new DR. The Ear Nose and Throat spec. We'll see what happens with them. I've brought this up to the dr so many times but they just tell me that kids get colds and he just happens to be an odd duck out and get more than normal colds. Matt also has an appointment on Saturday with another Dr within the same practice that we go to and i get to vent all my frustrations and concerns that have NOT been delt with and we'll go from there. I'm just looking foreward to having a baby who is MUCH happier and not sick all the time. I cant speculate on what will happen or how things will go but maybe this will point us in the right direction for a solution we want. Once his nose issues get cleared up they will re-evaluate him and see how things are going and if that was his issue and not something else. I cant wait!!! We are turning a new leaf....a good new leaf.

Pray for him and a speady recovering and more eating and weight gain.

New computer!!

So there is a chance...very slim chance mind you...that i could win this amazing awesome new computer. Slim chance i say because a TON of people have also entered for it. But i seem to have good luck every now and then so i'll try it out. I just really hope i win it. I'm probably on the computer more than i should be but its my link to the outside world. I read news...find new books...stay connected with friends. Its like my lifeline that i need. I've had the same computer since my junior year of college which was like 5 years ago or so. It was new back then...it still works and does all its magic but it is getting old. I mean they do age...the move slower. Their function isnt as up to date. They run out of space. I could go on. Overall it would be a dream come true to win this said computer.......




I came about to find this great giveaway on this blog My Charming Kids that i ran across awhile ago. I lvoe her little tips. Her inspiration and her love for her children. Its a great read for those days when you want to feel better.

I just hope i win!!!

Santa....Dr's....just another December

Went to take Matt to see Santa. I figured it wouldnt go that great seeing as he's so stuck to the people he knows but at the same time he's so friendly and waves and "talks" to everyone that i was hoping and praying and crossing my fingers that it would all go ok. We had visited the mall a few weeks before and Matt was all interested in him and went right up to him and got a candy so it might be a success. Well it wasnt.


Yeah the picture looks great...but whos in the picture with Matt?? Mom or course! Even with me sitting with him, there is no smile. Ryan was being a total goof and there wasnt one smile to be found. Completely opposite of last years pictures with Santa.


Overall it was ok. We got a christmas picture with Santa. I wasnt one of those kids who visited Santa every year and sat on his lap and told him what I wanted. I think there was just too many of us and to stand in line and get a picture with all of us was just to much. Minus the fact that you had to pay for it and back then money was tight. I just wanted to start something that would be fun for Matt. Something we could look back on and see how he's changed. Something of him to look foreward to when Santa comes to town. A traditon i wanted to start with him. I'm all about traditions. I like them. Its nice to anticipate something that brought memories of so much fun.

Matt has a Dr appointment AGAIN with the nutritionist in Spokane. He still has yet to gain any weight....or at least what he should have gained in the last few months. It went from eating but not eating enough to now just eating a few bites and being done. All the tricks in the book have not helped. We've tried everything. Honestly the only nutrition he gets i feel is from the pediasure. And even then its only really maintaining his weight not helping him increase it. So off we go to another appointment to possibly see what our next option could be. More testing i'm sure...probably some blood work....maybe something with his stomach. I just want him to be healthy and right now hes not that healthy. Hes a skinny little kid who is as big as my brothers 6 month old. I mean hes cute and happy and just a little boy through and through but at the same time what would he be like if he wasnt so sick all the time??

Matt is goofy. So goofy that now he has started walking backwards. He'll walk backwards into you and sit down on your lap if your sitting on the ground. He'll stop midwalk...do his little shuffle dance then walk backwards. What the heck?! Its just too cute though. And now when you sing to him he thinks your singing a song to go to bed so he starts pouting. Sometimes he'll try and sing along with you it just totally depends on what song it is. Hes just a cutie through and through.

Its christmas its christmas!!! Well almost....

So the season is upon us and guess what?? IM DONE SHOPPING!!! I have got everything I need..minus the few stocking things but i'm done!! I cant believe it. I dont have to worry and i dont have to think about it anymore. I'm not puting any more thought into what i already have because then i'll go overboard. But i'm done!!

Matt just loves the tree. He'll walk over and nicely touch all the ornaments that he can reach. Then he'll smack them all. Hes a goofy kid. He doesnt care for the presents because i dont think he really knows what they are. I'm just so excited for him to be able to experience christmas this year. Last year he was just a wee little lad...still interested in the lights but no clue, of course, as to what was going on.

We still have yet to get his pictures with Santa but my days off are soon and that is on the TOP of our to do list. We already visited him and got some candy and he thought that was pretty cool. Luckily he'll remember that its ok and we'll get another great picture out of him. I"ve tried unsucessfully to get some good pictures of Matt for christmas but i managed to get a few out of him. He doesnt like to look at the camera and will either look down, up or run for the camera.

Sick yet again...imagine that

Yes you read right...Matt is sick again. Not just with a cold but with ANOTHER sinus infection. I feel like a horrible parent. What am i doing wrong?? What is wrong with my little boy?? What can I do to make it better?? Is it something I'm doing wrong?? I feel like there is no end. He is always sick. We went to the Dr about a week ago and i voiced all my concerns. Matt was sick...he was puking...although he didn't have a fever i feel like that because he didn't have a fever our concerns were overlooked. They just told me he had a viral infection and that if it doesn't get better to come back in. Well that was pretty much my last straw. I've had enough with their office. I called his nutritionist and they said that he needs to come in again to figure out what else is going on with him. There has to be a reason that he has only gained 2 lbs since 9 months. He finally topped the 20 lb mark!! WOO HOO!! But it seems like such a small milestone considering everything. I don't feel hopeless yet. I know we'll get to the bottom of it. I pray every night that it doesn't get worse that it isn't something horrible and that my baby just gets healthy.

All any parent wants is for their child to be healthy. When Matt was born we already had things stacked against him but he triumphed and overcame. When he came home he was great that more setbacks. Yet he triumphed and overcame (with the help of medicine). Now my baby is sick all the time and i don't know what to do as a parent. I feel like I'm at the DR all the time. Matt has a PT appt on Friday for his walking just to re-evaluate how things are going and if there is anything else we can work on him with. On the 14th he has an appt with the nutritionist in Spokane to go over what our next option is with Matt. What the other possibilities as to what is going is with his poor little stomach or at least why is isn't gaining weight and why he is always sick.

I just want a healthy baby. I want a baby that eats like horse. Who isn't as heavy or big as 6 months old...yes my brothers sick month old is almost as big as Matt. I want a fat baby...a baby with rolls....one that you can pinch those fat little cheeks. I have a baby who always looks sick. Who has dark circles under his eyes when he gets sick (Ryan does too). He doesn't eat but two bites when he does eat. I want a baby who doesn't rely on 3 pedisures a day to get his nutrition. And if he happens to puke that up he doesn't want another so what am i to do with those lost calories....vitamins...nutrition.

On the 19th i will be going to Matt's Dr and giving them all hell. Seriously my child is sick...I'm in all the time and for what?? The run around. My child is sick...please tell me what is going on. Don't tell me its another viral infection....they always turn into something worse. I'm so tired i just want to cry. I want to hold my baby forever...keep him in a bubble so nothing else happens to him...so he doesn't catch anything else.

If i just know what is wrong i can work on fixing it. I'm at the end of my rope and i just don't know what to do.

But alas i think i do. I'm going to be the hard ass. I'm not going to take just a simple answer. I'm going to ask and if its not a viral infection what else could it be. I'm going to not take just a simple answer. I'm going to ask for details. To be fully informed. Something i have been doing but I've been putting my trust in the Dr's that when they tell me something the know what they are talking about and i should trust them. But i cant. I wont. I'm going to do whats best for my baby even if i have to go to 10 different Dr if that's what it takes. But the first step is to love my little boy...something i know how to do well.