Christmas Past

Its crazy to think that one Christmas ago Matt was just little teeny tiny baby. He was only a few months old and me being a new mom was just finally getting into the groove of things. He is such a blessing and i thank god numerous times in a day for the gift i was given. He is so precious...will always be my precious little man. Looking back he was so small...well kinda. He wasn't a baby baby but he was still much smaller than he is this Christmas. This year we get to take him out in the snow, pull him behind us in a sled, make angels in the snow...i mean look back at him...so cute...so cuddly...just so precious.Still goofy as all can be but hes my little precious baby boy.

To think that he was once soooo cuddly and would just love and cuddle on me all day...now i get a hug but its mostly just Matt being a goof and backing up to you and sitting on what is available...until bedtime then he'll cuddle.

ENT

So we went to Matts Dr. appt in Spokane to see the nutritionist again. Nothing new but he has gained an ounce...but that was AFTER he ate so no idea how much he weighed before. They gave us the SAME feeding recommendations but we really have to knuckle down and stick to them. Stick to them like glue. But as far as what is going on with him they think that its all in his sinus cavities. So now on to a new DR. The Ear Nose and Throat spec. We'll see what happens with them. I've brought this up to the dr so many times but they just tell me that kids get colds and he just happens to be an odd duck out and get more than normal colds. Matt also has an appointment on Saturday with another Dr within the same practice that we go to and i get to vent all my frustrations and concerns that have NOT been delt with and we'll go from there. I'm just looking foreward to having a baby who is MUCH happier and not sick all the time. I cant speculate on what will happen or how things will go but maybe this will point us in the right direction for a solution we want. Once his nose issues get cleared up they will re-evaluate him and see how things are going and if that was his issue and not something else. I cant wait!!! We are turning a new leaf....a good new leaf.

Pray for him and a speady recovering and more eating and weight gain.

New computer!!

So there is a chance...very slim chance mind you...that i could win this amazing awesome new computer. Slim chance i say because a TON of people have also entered for it. But i seem to have good luck every now and then so i'll try it out. I just really hope i win it. I'm probably on the computer more than i should be but its my link to the outside world. I read news...find new books...stay connected with friends. Its like my lifeline that i need. I've had the same computer since my junior year of college which was like 5 years ago or so. It was new back then...it still works and does all its magic but it is getting old. I mean they do age...the move slower. Their function isnt as up to date. They run out of space. I could go on. Overall it would be a dream come true to win this said computer.......




I came about to find this great giveaway on this blog My Charming Kids that i ran across awhile ago. I lvoe her little tips. Her inspiration and her love for her children. Its a great read for those days when you want to feel better.

I just hope i win!!!

Santa....Dr's....just another December

Went to take Matt to see Santa. I figured it wouldnt go that great seeing as he's so stuck to the people he knows but at the same time he's so friendly and waves and "talks" to everyone that i was hoping and praying and crossing my fingers that it would all go ok. We had visited the mall a few weeks before and Matt was all interested in him and went right up to him and got a candy so it might be a success. Well it wasnt.


Yeah the picture looks great...but whos in the picture with Matt?? Mom or course! Even with me sitting with him, there is no smile. Ryan was being a total goof and there wasnt one smile to be found. Completely opposite of last years pictures with Santa.


Overall it was ok. We got a christmas picture with Santa. I wasnt one of those kids who visited Santa every year and sat on his lap and told him what I wanted. I think there was just too many of us and to stand in line and get a picture with all of us was just to much. Minus the fact that you had to pay for it and back then money was tight. I just wanted to start something that would be fun for Matt. Something we could look back on and see how he's changed. Something of him to look foreward to when Santa comes to town. A traditon i wanted to start with him. I'm all about traditions. I like them. Its nice to anticipate something that brought memories of so much fun.

Matt has a Dr appointment AGAIN with the nutritionist in Spokane. He still has yet to gain any weight....or at least what he should have gained in the last few months. It went from eating but not eating enough to now just eating a few bites and being done. All the tricks in the book have not helped. We've tried everything. Honestly the only nutrition he gets i feel is from the pediasure. And even then its only really maintaining his weight not helping him increase it. So off we go to another appointment to possibly see what our next option could be. More testing i'm sure...probably some blood work....maybe something with his stomach. I just want him to be healthy and right now hes not that healthy. Hes a skinny little kid who is as big as my brothers 6 month old. I mean hes cute and happy and just a little boy through and through but at the same time what would he be like if he wasnt so sick all the time??

Matt is goofy. So goofy that now he has started walking backwards. He'll walk backwards into you and sit down on your lap if your sitting on the ground. He'll stop midwalk...do his little shuffle dance then walk backwards. What the heck?! Its just too cute though. And now when you sing to him he thinks your singing a song to go to bed so he starts pouting. Sometimes he'll try and sing along with you it just totally depends on what song it is. Hes just a cutie through and through.

Its christmas its christmas!!! Well almost....

So the season is upon us and guess what?? IM DONE SHOPPING!!! I have got everything I need..minus the few stocking things but i'm done!! I cant believe it. I dont have to worry and i dont have to think about it anymore. I'm not puting any more thought into what i already have because then i'll go overboard. But i'm done!!

Matt just loves the tree. He'll walk over and nicely touch all the ornaments that he can reach. Then he'll smack them all. Hes a goofy kid. He doesnt care for the presents because i dont think he really knows what they are. I'm just so excited for him to be able to experience christmas this year. Last year he was just a wee little lad...still interested in the lights but no clue, of course, as to what was going on.

We still have yet to get his pictures with Santa but my days off are soon and that is on the TOP of our to do list. We already visited him and got some candy and he thought that was pretty cool. Luckily he'll remember that its ok and we'll get another great picture out of him. I"ve tried unsucessfully to get some good pictures of Matt for christmas but i managed to get a few out of him. He doesnt like to look at the camera and will either look down, up or run for the camera.

Sick yet again...imagine that

Yes you read right...Matt is sick again. Not just with a cold but with ANOTHER sinus infection. I feel like a horrible parent. What am i doing wrong?? What is wrong with my little boy?? What can I do to make it better?? Is it something I'm doing wrong?? I feel like there is no end. He is always sick. We went to the Dr about a week ago and i voiced all my concerns. Matt was sick...he was puking...although he didn't have a fever i feel like that because he didn't have a fever our concerns were overlooked. They just told me he had a viral infection and that if it doesn't get better to come back in. Well that was pretty much my last straw. I've had enough with their office. I called his nutritionist and they said that he needs to come in again to figure out what else is going on with him. There has to be a reason that he has only gained 2 lbs since 9 months. He finally topped the 20 lb mark!! WOO HOO!! But it seems like such a small milestone considering everything. I don't feel hopeless yet. I know we'll get to the bottom of it. I pray every night that it doesn't get worse that it isn't something horrible and that my baby just gets healthy.

All any parent wants is for their child to be healthy. When Matt was born we already had things stacked against him but he triumphed and overcame. When he came home he was great that more setbacks. Yet he triumphed and overcame (with the help of medicine). Now my baby is sick all the time and i don't know what to do as a parent. I feel like I'm at the DR all the time. Matt has a PT appt on Friday for his walking just to re-evaluate how things are going and if there is anything else we can work on him with. On the 14th he has an appt with the nutritionist in Spokane to go over what our next option is with Matt. What the other possibilities as to what is going is with his poor little stomach or at least why is isn't gaining weight and why he is always sick.

I just want a healthy baby. I want a baby that eats like horse. Who isn't as heavy or big as 6 months old...yes my brothers sick month old is almost as big as Matt. I want a fat baby...a baby with rolls....one that you can pinch those fat little cheeks. I have a baby who always looks sick. Who has dark circles under his eyes when he gets sick (Ryan does too). He doesn't eat but two bites when he does eat. I want a baby who doesn't rely on 3 pedisures a day to get his nutrition. And if he happens to puke that up he doesn't want another so what am i to do with those lost calories....vitamins...nutrition.

On the 19th i will be going to Matt's Dr and giving them all hell. Seriously my child is sick...I'm in all the time and for what?? The run around. My child is sick...please tell me what is going on. Don't tell me its another viral infection....they always turn into something worse. I'm so tired i just want to cry. I want to hold my baby forever...keep him in a bubble so nothing else happens to him...so he doesn't catch anything else.

If i just know what is wrong i can work on fixing it. I'm at the end of my rope and i just don't know what to do.

But alas i think i do. I'm going to be the hard ass. I'm not going to take just a simple answer. I'm going to ask and if its not a viral infection what else could it be. I'm going to not take just a simple answer. I'm going to ask for details. To be fully informed. Something i have been doing but I've been putting my trust in the Dr's that when they tell me something the know what they are talking about and i should trust them. But i cant. I wont. I'm going to do whats best for my baby even if i have to go to 10 different Dr if that's what it takes. But the first step is to love my little boy...something i know how to do well.

Life Update....well overdue!!

Gosh it feels like just yesterday i posted yet i'm slowly realizing that time gets away from me. Although we have a schedule we have yet to have a "normal" schedule. I wish i could be one of those mommies who makes time to sit down and update or write about their kids so everyone can see....oh my wishes. BUT i would rather play and cuddle at night and be near my baby when i 'm not working. Oh my baby......

Matt, I would love to say is growing but he is not. We went and saw the nutritionist in Spokane at the childrens hospital and they gave us some great pointers but most we were already doing. They want us to stay with the pediasure and they also want to keep a close eye on his weight to see if he is gaining at all. Right now i can almost guarantee that he has not gained anything. WHY?? Well lets see. When we went into Spokane he has just gotten over his sinus infection with 3 weeks worth of antiobiotics. GREAT it was gone. He could breath he was eating really good like he should be then it just went ....well it was gone. He didnt seem too fussy but he wasnt eating and well just wouldnt eat. So we took him in again because great-grandma made us and guess what....he had STREP THROAT/TONSILITIS!! How does a 1 yr old get that....mind you no one in our house or daycare has it. So back on antiobiotics it was. He did good after that for a week then he got a cold and he still has a runny nose. So all in all Matt is always sick and the only time he eats good is when hes on antiobiotics or the week after. Then he gets something else and yeah...its our routine. He drinks good....has 3-4 good 6/8oz bottles a day...and juice and water. Its frustrating.


He is a walking maniac. Hes all over. He enjoys ryans house the best i think because it is the most interesting. He'll walk around talking...get into every drawer in both house and just goof off. He loves taking his velcro shoes off and try to put them back on. He gets a little frustrated but its cute to watch. He can almost say "sock" or "ock" and i think its because its a close resemblance to "og" or (dog) which he can say very well. The only other words he can say are "dad" which thats pretty much all he says but he can say "mom" just not as much as dad. He can make the sound for blowing kisses. He loves to give "loves" to people but watch out he might slip you the tounge every now and then. I think he knows what hes doing because he will laugh when hes done.

Halloween was great. Because of the flu scare going around and the fact that he was sick we just went to our family members in the area. He got a whole 3 candy bars which was great for moms waist. He enjoyed going out and is such a people person. His costume fit perfect but he was one fast tigger let me tell ya...so fast i was only able to get a few pics of him.



Funny mention pics. I've been so slow at taking his pictures i feel like i've been a horrible mom. When i realize that i havent taken a picture in a while it seems like hes a changed person. I've got a few good ones here and there but for the most part nothing to great. Which reminds me i still need to order pics from Jackie. Jackie from Jax Creations has been taking Matts pictures. He was super sick the last time we went in so she was nice enough to reschedule for another time and of course they turned out great as always.

Work has been going great!! I really love the residents and the people i work with. I just wish i could spend more time with Matt. I get jealous of Ryan because i feel like Matts with him all the time but really he goes to daycare i pick him up and play with him all late afternoon till its time to go to bed then he goes to Ryans on the days where i work the next day so its not too bad. I just wish i could stay home and love on him all day. AAAH....if only.

Can you start to tell he will look up at you with this open mouth grin and smile just because he likes to have his picture taken.....hes such a goober.

Walking

Yes you read right Matt is walking. Not just a little walk her and there from one toy to another but full on walking. On the 3rd of Oct. he just took off. He was standing at his walking toy which was a few feet from the couch and he just walking to the couch...then the recliner next to the couch...then took off towards the kitchen to my brother aka Uncle Snoose. I was flabbergasted. He just took off and WHOA it was like holy cow where did that come from. Since then hes been a walking machine. He walks everywhere. A few days ago he started squatting and bending over to pick things up. Today he thought it would be cute to pack around his coat and try to put it on all day. I love that hes growing and learning so much.

Hes eating so great too. He eats 3 good meals a day with only a few snacks in between till he gets the idea that his meals are meals and not just another snack. He likes it when you feed him off your plate...obviously thinks the food is better when in reality its the same thing....so i trick him by putting some of his good on my plate and feeding him that way. It works for the most part. Hes really big on potatoes and carrots, oh yeah and the pasta. I think i could feed him pasta for breakfast lunch and dinner and he would be fine with that.

Its flu season now and i just went and got my seasonal flu shot but I'm torn on what to do with Matt. I've been regular for all his immunizations and we finally just got caught up with them. I called his pediatrician and they said i need to call everyday and see when they get some in because it is on a first come first serve basis and they run out. What happens if they get some and I'm working?? How am i supposed to get Matt there? Its so hard when i work and Ryan works. I cant afford to take they day off...even just a few hours and Ryan sometimes works so far out that he has no cell service or it will take him a good hour to get to work....aaaah. They joys of trying to figure things out.

So Matt has been doing great at daycare. Ryan drops him off and only every once in a while does he cry. Its taken us almost 6 months to get used to them but he has. When i go in hes either sleeping or playing with the other kids. I can usually watch him for awhile then he'll look up and realize I'm there and take off for me or start whining for me. I like picking him up because he is SO happy to see me it just makes my heart melt.

I would post some picks but my darn camera battery is out and its too late to charge it and wait for pics to upload so some will come soon in the next few days.

Negative

Everything is negative!!! All the tests and worrisome nights are over because everything has come back negative. No Cystic Fibrosis.....No Brain Tumors.....No Cancer....No Nothing. (Can you see my mind works in overtime for some of them) But seriously my biggest thing i was afraid of was that he would have CF. Terrified....just terrified. But its all OK now. The only thing that is wrong is Matt has a severe sinus infection. Who would have thought all this could contribute to all his problems. I hope and pray from the bottom of my heart that this is all he will have to go through. I can only imagine what the pain was like for him...the misery of not being able to tell me what was wrong....how he felt. But now because i am a good mother, because i knew there was something wrong...in the end we were able to get to the root of hopefully a lot of his problems. Since we came home from the hospital with new instructions for feeding here is what has happened......

• Matt is eating like a HORSE, 3 meals a day and he can eat almost anything we eat as long as its cut into little pieces....very small little pieces but pieces non the less
• Matt has gone from formula to Pediasure....3 times a day....and he loves it
• Weight gain of 1.5 lbs......that's A LOT for him seeing as he has not gained weight in 3 months

Oh yeah and by the way...Matt is walking on his own...not all the time but he moves from place to place walking and will sometimes just take off on his own...pics to come later.

3 Hour tour = 2 day hospital stay

So Matt went in Thursday for his MRI. Little did we know our 3 hour tour would become a 2 day stay.....

We went in all good to check in. He wasn't cranky at all and loved playing with the toys. He made a friend there and attempted to play with him but he was a little cranky I'm sure for not being able to eat. We get all checked in which takes forever and a day but we trooped through. They gave him some versed to make him drowsy. Watching a 1 yr old get drugged up, although sad, is hilarious. It was like he was drunk.....and hes a happy and giggly drunk. He made us laugh through a time of worry so it seemed a way for him to say it would be OK. They took him back to the MRI machine and we got to walk back with him. I got to go in the room since I didn't have any metal at all on me and got to be with him while they put the mask on till he was asleep. It made me feel a little better that my face was the last one he got to see. Then we were told to go to the waiting room and they would come and get us when they were done. So we waited....and waited some more....

An hour and half later we see Matt being wheeled by the waiting room and hes on his stomach...his bed is inclined to the sitting position and hes waking up/struggling with them. I couldn't tell if it was Matt or not but realized it was and they were going without us. They told us to wait and they would come and get us when they were ready. So we waiting some more....a few minutes later a nurse came and got us to take us to the recovery room with Matt. He was sleeping and i was so glad to see him and know that he was alive.....and now the journey begins.

While we were waiting for him to come out of his slumber the nurses seemed concerned that his O2 levels weren't at the numbers they would prefer. We got him to wake up to see if that would help but it didn't....it actually seemed to make it worse. While all the other little fellas around us got to come and go here we sat with Matt....still waiting. They decided that since he wasn't getting enough O2 they wanted to take him upstairs for observation just a little longer. So up we went......

To the Ped's unit at Sacred Heart. A cute little place made just for kids. We got to our room and settled in. Around came the nurses and the Dr. who went over Matt's history and mine from the beginning of my pregnancy...his birth....up till now. Everything was put on the table and they were very troubled that a lot of tests had not been done on him that should have been red flags to be done on him.....so the testing stage begins....

They were able to get the MRI results....nothing that indicates why he has a right sided weakness....but when they looked at the MRI the found he has sinunitis, which is a severe sinus infection. Could be the cause for all his runny noses and his inability to kick colds. Although this could explain why he might not be getting enough O2 they wanted to be sure so they took a chest/stomach x-ray. It was pretty cool to see the picture afterwards. Lungs look good but they found a lot of air in his stomach, may be the cause of all his digestive/bowel issues??

By this time Matt was ready for bed and was pretty groggy and had just fallen asleep when the blood guy came in to take some blood. Matt was not happy about being woken up to have his blood taken. He was a trooper though and they were able to bleed him of the blood they needed.

Later that night the nurse was kind enough to let me know that they would need some more blood as 1 vial didn't take but they would come in the early early am to take it. So all through out this Matt is on blow by oxygen. This means that it is not a cannula and its not hooked up to his nose. But he is hooked up to a monitor that shows us his heart rate and his O2 levels. They are in the low 90's which to them is not good...it should be 100. When hes relaxed and sleeping his levels dip down pretty low. When this happens the monitor goes off....so we put the O2 up to his face...mind you he does not like this one bit, but his levels go back up so that's all that matters. They were concerned that he was breathing like this but to us this is his norm. This is Matt....this is just how he is. We have brought this up many times at the Dr. but they just attributed it to his cold....nothing more.

All night is monitor is going off...I'm getting up....the nurse comes in to see if hes OK....i fix his toe so his levels can be read....finally at one point during the night i just gave up and let the nurse come in to fix his toe.....i realized this is her job this is her thing she needs to do it....i just wanted some sleep.
End of day 1

Day 2
Matt is woken up at 5:30 to have his blood drawn again. We sleep a little more then i figure at 7:30- 8 its time to get up since the new nurse will be coming around after shift change. She comes in check on him takes his vitals. The Dr. comes in to talk to us after this. He explains that the blood work came back OK....all his levels look good...nothing in the danger zone to be worried about. We are scheduled to have another test done...his Cystic Fibrosis test which we have been wanting done since he was born but his Dr.did not see any reason to test for it. I was so glad to finally be having this done as well. They stimulate his muscle in his arm to sweat then stick a wristwatch type thing around his arm tight that collects the sweat....he did great and sweated good for them. Enough that the collection guy was rather enthusiastic about it. A nutritionist also came in to see him as well since hes having such a problem eating more solid food rather than pureed food. She gave us some ideas until he can go in to be evaluated in November. So much for a little guy...geesh....but were not over yet. That concluded our afternoon....nothing else for them to do really but wait for him to be discharged. Finally around 2ish they decide to let us go but Matt is taking a much needed nap and i wasn't about ready to wake him up to go as much as i want to leave. Finally around 4 we were able to break out of the place and be on our way.

Many questions were answered but even more were added for use to wonder and pray about even more. I'm glad we got the answers we did and am patiently waiting for some that are to come. My little man has been through so much, nothing compared to others pain and grief and suffering but it is ours just the same. Thanks for all of those who prayed for us and kept us in your thoughts. I know it was not life threatening but its still scary to be told your baby has to stay in the hospital for further evaluation. Many things race through your head....prayers are said and you just hope for the best.

My poor baby

My poor baby. I just don't know how else to explain that. It makes me so sad to even begin to explain what is happening or what could possibly be wrong with my baby. When Matt was born we all noticed that his right eye didn't open all the way. To us it was nothing unusually just that he would prefer to keep that eye closed. As he got older we noticed that he did have a droopy eye. He has been going to the eye Dr in Spokane and she sees him every 3-4 months to make sure that that eye is making the progress that it should. Nothing unusual. Well when he went in for his 9month check up i brought up that when Matt stood up he would turn his foot outward. I didn't want him to keep walking like this and end up having surgery later when he was older. So he was sent to a physical therapist for this. Well good bless her soul, she is the one who noticed that Matt's whole right side is week. From the way he crawls to the way he stands he has more strength in his left side that he did his right. She said this would be something worth looking into. We went back to her a few times and Matt got an x-ray of his hip to make sure there was nothing wrong with his hip. He was meeting all the milestones that he should be so i wasn't too worried. That is until his 1 yr appt.

Yet again it was brought up that his whole right side is week. His Dr. explained that this should not happen in a young person and that she would like to have him go to Spokane to have an MRI of his head done. That and the fact that he is very underweight, he has yet to meet a handful of milestones that he should have meet a long time ago and that he still is having problems eating and with his acid reflux. Being so shocked but not surprised i did not ask what she thought his problem might be and being the curious person i am i turned to the Internet. Wrong thing to do when you have a sick kid. I know i shouldent think into this too much but it is all just so scary. The 4 possibilities that i found...and they are very logical possibilities given his circumstances are 1) He had a stoke in utero 2) a very mild form of Cerebral Palsy 3) Brain tumor and 4) nothing at all. I want there to be nothing wrong with my baby. I don't want him to be sick. I don't want him to have anything wrong with him. I just want my baby to grow old and lead a good like and be healthy. But i know in my heart that sometimes we are given challenges and he just might be my challenge in life.

So off to Spokane we go to have an MRI. It was scheduled for Sept 17. No food after midnight and clear liquids till 6:30....my baby was going to starve and be very very cranky. So we get to the Pediatric Surgery Center and check in. They weight him...take his vitals and show us to his room for the time being. They give him a gown to wear and his bracelet to make sure its him. Then they realize how stuffy of a nose he has...well DUH!!! I told you this all yesterday when you called me to get his history. They explained that with the sedation it makes your nose even runnier and the fact that his nose was already runny he has a high chance of choking and making it go from bad to worse. Our wonderful nurse knew that we drove all the way to get this done so she tried pulling some strings to do something different but it was a no go. No anesthesiologist were available.....so no MRI.

Now i have to wait a whole week till NEXT Thur the 24th to find out what is wrong with my baby. I'm praying with all my might that nothing is wrong and this is all just a fluke....but its hard to throw out my mothers intuition.

On the way home though we stopped at Cabelas and couldnt resist getting his pic taken in this awesome chair that i just know he wasnts for christmas.

1st Birthday!!!

Matt officially turned 1!!!

and he did it all right before my eyes. Its hard to imagine one year ago he was just a newborn in my arms and i was completely oblivious to the love i would be able to give to such a tiny little person. He is my miracle...my one and only special person in my life. i never thought i would be able to love someone as much as i love him and to be able to be so selfless and give everything i have to him.



Matt was soo sick on his birthday but it went on. He was at the tail end of his sickness so i figured we would just go ahead with it as planned since everything was already planned and ready. That morning we tried to to pictures but that just didnt work. We got a few good ones but not what either of us wanted. He was just not a happy camper at all. So were gonna reschedule....hopefully soon but we'll see. He slept most of the day and was a little happy when all the people came but for the most part he was pretty whinny and just wanted to be held. I knew he didnt feel good so we didnt pressure him into anything. The BBQ was a hit though and at the end all the food was gone and there were no leftovers....darn that midnight snack anyways.

More weddings

My does time fly by...where do I even begin. The month of August went by so fast and here half of September is already over. Towards the end of August myself, Matt and Ryan went to Ryan's sister Chelsea's wedding at Lochsa Lodge. I recomend anyone to go. It was the perfect place and so much to see and do along the way if your up for a nice long drive. Matt got to experience his first time in a Hot Spring and boy did he like that. It was like a big bathtub for him. The weekend went by way too fast thats for sure. On the way back we stopped in Moscow to visit some of Ryans college friends and it was nice to visit and they could see how much Matt has grown. The last time i think they saw Matt he was only a few months old and now he's almost 1!!!!


Matt being his usual goofball self


Enjoying the springs


Bathing with Mom

Wedding

So my cousin Nikki's wedding was on the 1st of Aug!! Great day to have a wedding...warm but great. Matt went to the Dr that wed and has a double ear infection...not but but he was not cranky at all. The reason i took him to the dr was that he woke up and had blue lips...yes it was scary but he was breathing so i want too worried. I just knew there was a lack of O2 somewhere in the line. Hes on antiobiotics now and doing GREAT!! Back to his usual if not stubborn self.

This wedding was beautifull to say the least but way too much work. I have decided that if i am ever to get married i'm eloping...yes eloping. I dont want to put that much work or much work at all into a wedding and i dont have the money to pay someone to do it so i would just rather elope. Many other reasons too but i'll be eloping when that time comes.

Katie was great enough to rent a pontoon boat on Thur for all the girls to go out on and just enjoy the day. It was great. Awesome drinks....weather and most of all fun.
That night we went to 41 South then headed out on the town. IT was nice to get out but i realized how much i just love staying home with Matt. But for one night i could handle being an adult and having fun.

We went up to Bonners on Fri and put together our flowers. So much fun and so many pretty colors. Fresh flowers at our fingertips and our own creation....what more could you ask for.


Wedding setup was crazy! So much to do in so little time and not enough willing people to help out. Just crazy.

The day came and it was great. Hot but great. Everyone looked fabulous even the bride. It was a fun night that could have went on for many hours but alas all great things have to come to an end.

Rest of July

The rest of July leading up to my cousins wedding has been pretty uneventful. Taking lots of pictures and trying to find a job has been what fills my days. Yes I'm still not working. I hate not doing anything. Don't get me wrong i can sit at home all day and just enjoy Matt but i also love working too. Having money and not having to worry about money is great. Not relying on others for money to do things or to just get the necessities of pay bills would be great to just depend on myself again. Here are some pics to show our days. Matt is hilarious. He loves going over to check on the dogs and see how they are doing outside.

He also gets himself into some funny places where he just cant seem to get himself out of.


Overall things have been going good. Boring but good. Matt loves being outside and once the shade hits the side of the house out we go. It actually works out perfect because after his nap the shade is out so outside we go.

We also went to the Bull Bash here in town to watch my brother Justin see how long he can hold onto the bull. Matt had fun. We made some friends with the horses and the bulls came up to the fence and he just watched. He does great when were away from our routine. He doesn't go to sleep till much later but hes not fussy and he just kinda hangs out. Its great.



Matt is more than a good kid. I have been so blessed to have such a great little man in my life.

Rafting Trip

My cousin Nikki is getting married Aug 1. Being the nice sweatheart that she is she got a rafting trip together with help from some friends for all of her bridesmaids to go on. I couldnt wait. I know people who have gone rafting and i was so excited. Ryan took friday off early so i could just stay the night at my aunt pams house and we could just get moving early in the morning. Well that night i found out that we would not be going on a raft....WTF!!! We would be going on inflatable "duckies" or kyaks!!!

I fear the water. I dont go swimming in water that i cant see the bottom. I start getting anxiety really bad and have a hard time swimming back to the boat. I dont go tubing anymore for that reason and if i do go tubing i hold on for dear life and i dont let go. I'm one of those people who its hard to tip the tube cuz i'm holding on so tight.

Well to say the least it was an adventure. One that i dont care to take again. Terrifying...exhilirating....terrifying....scary....fun. Yes there was a fun in there. We played some games but overall i coudlnt wait till it was over.


I made it down in one piece thanks to some guys who stopped and helped when some girls tipped over in thier duckies. They were a lifesaver. I think they were meant to show up and they showed up at just the right moment. If i had to go down the rest of the way i think i would have panicked. If i had tipped over i honestly think i would have drowned. I was scared beyone belief.

Looking back though i did it.