December is closing

Matthews 1st christmas was great. Lots to do with so many grandparents to see but it was nice all the same. Although he is so little that he just kinda sat and played with his hands it was nice to know that we all made it this far in once piece with my sanity still in check.

I cant believe that in a few days it will be a new year with so many 1st's on the way and i cant wait!!

So far motherhood is everything i expected and more. At times i wasn't sure i would be able to make it because he was so fussy but i look back and think that it wasn't really that bad at all. When you have no sleep it seems that things are intensified and worse than they actually are. Trips to the emergency room, Dr's office and walmart late at night to get diapers because i realized we only had one for the night are things of the past.

Soon it will be crawling, talking but always he will be the love of my life no matter what. Although being a single parent for the most part its nice to have Ryan around to help when i need to go to work some mornings when i need just a few more hours of sleep and my "go-to" guy. I wish i had more help but its rewarding to know that if i can do this i can do anything. I applaud all mothers single, together or married because each one is just as challenging as the next but when there is a little person who smiles at you because they love you...it melts your heart and makes all the troubles non-existent.

Christmas

I cant believe that christmas is only 4 days away. It seemed like yesterday we just had his 1st halloween!! My how the time flies. He is getting bigger and bigger everyday and soon he'll be 4 months old...4 months old!! Ah how they grow up right before your eyes.

He is now sleeping at night for a good 5-6 hours in a stretch on a good night. I wake him up once before i go to bed then he wakes me up usually once in the middle of the night. Oh how nice it has been to finally get some sleep...something i wished and prayed for from the beginning. He is now eating a little bit of cereal in the days...hes not quite sure about it but he seems to eat it, although he spits half of it out he can usually finish a small little bowl thats pretty watered down.

Today we went to the mall and had his picture taken with santa claus...oh what a treat because he actually SMILED!! To get him to smile and actually get a good picture of it is very rare...dont get me wrong he smiles all the time but for the camera to catch the dimples and the actual smile very rare. The guy was amazing and patient till i got him to smile and boy did he smile.

This month has gone by so fast i have no idea where its gone with so much going on. At the beginning of the month we found out Ryans friend (and mine but more ryans) broke his neck and is paralyzed from the chest down. Hes in rehab right now and were praying and hoping for the best. We were going to go and see him in Seattle but this HUGE snow storm kinda thwarted our plans. Our good friend Rusty and Sara were married on the 20th and we couldnt be happier for them. Rusty will go to Iraq again and we pray for him as well and wish for a safe return. Christmas will soon be upon us and hope everyone has a wonderful christmas and if you are out ont he roads to please play it safe!!

3 months old

I cant believe how much time flies between the time they are born and meet the 1 month 2 month and now 3 month mark. He has grown so much by leaps and bounds and seems like there is something new each day, whether its a giggle, the way he smiles or just how strong he gets.

He thinks he is such a big boy now and laughs at everything even the people on tv (I think he thinks they are talking to him). Its completely amazing and wonderful to watch him grow every day. I lay awake sometimes at night, even though i need the sleep, and just look at him and smile at how complete things are and how happy i am with my little man.

I have been trying to go back to work with very little success. I get about 5 hours a week and thats about all i can get, which sucks!! I am looking for other jobs that are worth going to but there is little out there. I have applied as a substitute teacher so hopefully that will go through and help. I would apply at the troubled kids schools but they dont pay enough to make the drive worthwhile or i would. I'm sure once i accept the fact that i'm just destined to be at Goodwill and take on more clients something will come along. We'll see what happens but i'm hoping sooner rather than later.

We are all just getting ready for christmas, still no snow but thats ok, I dont like driving in it anyways. Ryan is still working so in a way thats kinda nice but at the same time i cant do a whole lot with work or take on more hours because i dont have anyone to watch him.Ryan will be watching him while hes laid off and i go back to work. Yes i could take him to daycare but i'm not getting his shots so a lot of places wont take them without shots. I would rather take him to someone who just stays at home with their kids or pay someone to come and watch him, that way not only do i just pay for the time i need them but it saves some money and travel time etc. If anyone has any ideas let me know!!!

All in all the last 3 months have flown by so fast i dont really know where half the time has gone. Wish everyone a safe holiday season and i cant wait to see what the next month and new year will bring!!