December is closing

Matthews 1st christmas was great. Lots to do with so many grandparents to see but it was nice all the same. Although he is so little that he just kinda sat and played with his hands it was nice to know that we all made it this far in once piece with my sanity still in check.

I cant believe that in a few days it will be a new year with so many 1st's on the way and i cant wait!!

So far motherhood is everything i expected and more. At times i wasn't sure i would be able to make it because he was so fussy but i look back and think that it wasn't really that bad at all. When you have no sleep it seems that things are intensified and worse than they actually are. Trips to the emergency room, Dr's office and walmart late at night to get diapers because i realized we only had one for the night are things of the past.

Soon it will be crawling, talking but always he will be the love of my life no matter what. Although being a single parent for the most part its nice to have Ryan around to help when i need to go to work some mornings when i need just a few more hours of sleep and my "go-to" guy. I wish i had more help but its rewarding to know that if i can do this i can do anything. I applaud all mothers single, together or married because each one is just as challenging as the next but when there is a little person who smiles at you because they love you...it melts your heart and makes all the troubles non-existent.

Christmas

I cant believe that christmas is only 4 days away. It seemed like yesterday we just had his 1st halloween!! My how the time flies. He is getting bigger and bigger everyday and soon he'll be 4 months old...4 months old!! Ah how they grow up right before your eyes.

He is now sleeping at night for a good 5-6 hours in a stretch on a good night. I wake him up once before i go to bed then he wakes me up usually once in the middle of the night. Oh how nice it has been to finally get some sleep...something i wished and prayed for from the beginning. He is now eating a little bit of cereal in the days...hes not quite sure about it but he seems to eat it, although he spits half of it out he can usually finish a small little bowl thats pretty watered down.

Today we went to the mall and had his picture taken with santa claus...oh what a treat because he actually SMILED!! To get him to smile and actually get a good picture of it is very rare...dont get me wrong he smiles all the time but for the camera to catch the dimples and the actual smile very rare. The guy was amazing and patient till i got him to smile and boy did he smile.

This month has gone by so fast i have no idea where its gone with so much going on. At the beginning of the month we found out Ryans friend (and mine but more ryans) broke his neck and is paralyzed from the chest down. Hes in rehab right now and were praying and hoping for the best. We were going to go and see him in Seattle but this HUGE snow storm kinda thwarted our plans. Our good friend Rusty and Sara were married on the 20th and we couldnt be happier for them. Rusty will go to Iraq again and we pray for him as well and wish for a safe return. Christmas will soon be upon us and hope everyone has a wonderful christmas and if you are out ont he roads to please play it safe!!

3 months old

I cant believe how much time flies between the time they are born and meet the 1 month 2 month and now 3 month mark. He has grown so much by leaps and bounds and seems like there is something new each day, whether its a giggle, the way he smiles or just how strong he gets.

He thinks he is such a big boy now and laughs at everything even the people on tv (I think he thinks they are talking to him). Its completely amazing and wonderful to watch him grow every day. I lay awake sometimes at night, even though i need the sleep, and just look at him and smile at how complete things are and how happy i am with my little man.

I have been trying to go back to work with very little success. I get about 5 hours a week and thats about all i can get, which sucks!! I am looking for other jobs that are worth going to but there is little out there. I have applied as a substitute teacher so hopefully that will go through and help. I would apply at the troubled kids schools but they dont pay enough to make the drive worthwhile or i would. I'm sure once i accept the fact that i'm just destined to be at Goodwill and take on more clients something will come along. We'll see what happens but i'm hoping sooner rather than later.

We are all just getting ready for christmas, still no snow but thats ok, I dont like driving in it anyways. Ryan is still working so in a way thats kinda nice but at the same time i cant do a whole lot with work or take on more hours because i dont have anyone to watch him.Ryan will be watching him while hes laid off and i go back to work. Yes i could take him to daycare but i'm not getting his shots so a lot of places wont take them without shots. I would rather take him to someone who just stays at home with their kids or pay someone to come and watch him, that way not only do i just pay for the time i need them but it saves some money and travel time etc. If anyone has any ideas let me know!!!

All in all the last 3 months have flown by so fast i dont really know where half the time has gone. Wish everyone a safe holiday season and i cant wait to see what the next month and new year will bring!!

Thanksgiving!!

I cant believe how the time flies and that Thanksgiving is already upon us. It seems like just yesterday he was born and now he'll be almost 3 months old. He is lifting up his head very well when hes on his stomach and giggles and talkes to himself in the mirror all the time. The TV intrigues him and he likes to stare at it, although i wish he didnt but it keeps him from crying. He likes when people talk to him and has the cutest little smile in the whole world, although catching it on camera is another story.

We took some family pictures for christmas this last weekend and they turned out great thanks to Amber K. I wish we could have gotten Matt to smile but the one we ended up using for the card shows a little smirk so I was happy with it.

So all in all its been a good month and I cant wait till Christmas is here and he'll be able to have his first christmas!!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!

2mnths

Its now been two months and I cant believe how fast time flies. Matthew is growing up so big now weighing in at 12 lbs .5 ounces and 23 inches long. When he first came home he was the most fussiest baby ever making us go to the dr almost on a weekly basis. He was very very colicy from the day he came home so that was no fun. He has acid reflux and is now taking some medication for it which seems to help tremendously and is less fussy than before. We went in for his two month check up and he might have ptosis in his right eye, his eyelid just wont open fully and if it is blocking part of his iris it could cause some vision problems later on. Halloween came and went with him having a cold so we couldnt visit as many people as we would have liked but he looked super cute in his bat costume and did wonderful out and about visiting the ones we did. He is now smiling and talking to everyone who takes the time to try and visit with him but it may be shortlived cuz eventually he'll get grumpy. I have switched over to formula and he is doing soooo much better on that than the breastmilk. For now it finally seems like things are moving uphill instead of staying down and I couldnt be happier.

Delivery

So he is finally here all 7 lbs 6 oz of pure joy born on September 5th, also my brother Jon's birthday. He is wonderful in every little way, even all of his hair. It was quit an ordeal for h im to finally get here but in the end just holding him and seeing all his little expressions is totally worth everything I went through.

Thursday I had a normal Dr appt and when I told them that I hadnt felt him move since the night before they sent me in for a non-stress test which measures how much you feel the baby move while they monitor his heartbeat. Well I was stuck there for 2 hours and only felt him move a handfull of times even after a whole bunch of things done to make him move...he just wouldnt move that much. They scheduled me for a bio-physical later that day at the hospital which is a high tech ultrasound that measures amniotic fluid, breathing, movement and a few other things. Well he failed it miserably so they sent me upstairs to OB where they did another non-stress test. He had very little amniotic fluid and had only moved twice during the whole biophysical which isnt that great of a sign.

Well alas he didnt move for that one so they admitted me so they could monitor his heartbeat and whatnot overnight. They also gave me a little pill that would help my cervix dialate and start the process of having him and help bring on some contractions. By the next morning I still was not having any contractions so they decided to give me potocin to see if he would be able to handle labor and to see if that would bring on any contractions. Well...Matthew did not tolerate the potocin at all and wasnt doing so great so at 9 am they decided to do a c-section on me and by 12:47 in the afternoon our little bundle of joy was born.

I dont remember a whole lot from the c-section cuz i was so exhausted from being up most of the night but what I do remember wasnt that assuring either. I remember when they first were taking him out the Dr said something about meconium (baby poop) which isnt a good sign cuz that means theres a possibility he has that in his lungs. I could see them bring him over to the table and he was looking pretty blue and they were putting tubes town his throat to get stuff out but once I heard his little squeek of a cry I just knew things were going to be ok and he was fine. Ryan was wonderful to have right there by my side and I just knew everything would be ok because we both had each other and our little man. Little did I know that was just the beginning of a 4 day stay in the hospital.

His platlet count was really low and his white blood cell count was very high which means he is trying to fight of an infection so they took some blood to start some cultures to see what kind of infection if any he was trying to fight off. They started him on some sugar water as well because his blood sugar level was also very low and they started a 3 day round of antibiotics to help fight an infection if he had one sooner rather than later. They attribute all this to the fact of little amniotic fluid and a bad placenta on my part which means he wasnt getting all the oxygen, nutrients and everything else he was getting from the placenta.

Poor little man was poked and proded and had to have his blood taken all the time so now he has barely any heals left (thats where they took his blood) but they are getting better. After a few days his platlet count went up, white blood count came down but his blood sugar level would go down as soon as they tried weaning him off the sugar water so he was still hooked to IV's. Poor man. Once my milk started to come in he was getting enough nutrients I guess because when they started weaning him his blood sugar levels were continuing to stay high where they were happy.

I was discharged on Monday evening but earlier on monday they had ran a bilibrium test (jaundace) on him and his levels were at a higher level than they would have liked but still in a safe zone so they decided to keep him yet another day so he could get an awesome little suntan under the bili-lite.

FINALLY on tuesday afternoon he was discharged with absolutly nothing wrong with him and we got to go home!!!!!!It is absolutly amazing, i never know how fulfilling having a kid is even though we started out in not a good situation. It just makes me treasure him that much more and I am truely thankfull and blessed that everything has turned out so good and I have a little man at home to love as much as I possibly can.